I fuckin hate holidays....

I guess for this who know me this doesn't come as a surprise. For those of you who don't know me, well gat familiar!

What I'm about to do is give you some true insight to my life and times as Adebisi..the emcee. I come from a single parent home where ever since I was about twelve (and even to this day) my mother had to work every single holiday including Christmas. So I guess after a while I just developed a certain disdain for holidays because while everyone else I knew was enjoying fun family gatherings me and my sisters were sitting at home warming up our holiday meals. Who knows the holidays just represent a time of lonliness for me and nothing else.

Most of the time I would spend my Christmas and Thanksgiving at a friends house eating with their families, but after a while I stopped doing that because I found that it just made me even more angry and disgruntled. I never understood families who came together on the holidays, I guess because it was something that I wasn't accustomed to. I've never spent a holiday with any of my extended family either simply because my family just can't seem to all get along. Might I add that I have a humongous family too, but getting us all together is a task unimaginable.

My last two years of highschool I spent my holidays with my homeboy Gus who felt the same way about holidays as I did. So what we would do is buy a gang of weed, order some pizzas and play video games. Actually those were some great holidays! Man we would drive around the small ass city of Racine bumping some music to get high to (bone thugs "bud smokers only", that one mystikal song about smoking weed, some triple 6 shit, and more bone thugs songs), and I swear we'd blow our fuckin brains out man. By the time we got back to his crib with the pizzas and shit I'd be ready to pass out! Thank God for a friend like dude because i probably would've jumped off of a fuckin bridge if it weren't for him.

When I got to college (after 2 years in the military) I spent most of my holidays on campus. Hell after a while I didn't even want to leave. Home just never represented happiness to me. It wasn't my mothers fault at all because I beleive she did everything in her power to provide for us and give us the best, which she did. I just always longed for something more, that thing that I didn't have and couldn't touch...family. I remember one winter break I stayed on campus and for Christmas I had boxed macarini & cheese, microwaveable mac & cheese at that! For that whole break I'd just have girls bring me food, liquor and Black & Milds. Fuck Christmas.

Eventually I got married at the age of 21, mainly because my girlfriend was pregnant. I knew from that point on I would have what I wanted and wouldn't spend another lonely holiday alone. And for a while I didn't. My son was born on December 23rd, 2003 and we brought him home on Christmas that year. That had to be my most happiest Christmas and holiday break ever, because finally I had something of a holiday and it brought all my friends and fam together. Which was a great thing to experience, even if for only one time in my life.

All good things must come to an end so the story states, and they do. By the winter of 2006 my marriage was all sorts of rocky and I had to go off and serve a few months of jail time in the house of corrections due to a probation violation. Not only that I wasn't working, couldn't find a job and was broke. So on December 18th, 5 days before my sons birthday and 7 days before Christmas I went to serve my three months in jail. I swear i regretted that! Not only did I miss the holidays I missed my sons 3rd birthday and he will never be three again. Needless to say I spent that Christmas and New Years in Jail with a whole bunch of niggas who I couldn't stand. And for the most part alot of them niggas were looking at spending their next few holidays in the joint. Not me though I had plans ongetting out and putting all the peices of my life together. Life is funny though.

To make a long story short me and my wife never really came back to terms and as a result we seperated and a year later were divorced.

Christmas 2007 came as me and my wife were seperated and going through some deep shit. Me and my kids spent that Christmas in my studio apartment. I gave them their gifts and we ate tacos. I thank God for them because without them I don't know if I could go on. They were my only holiday cheer. So that brings us here to today Christmas 2008, which wasn't that bad. My now ex-wife brought the kids over last night and I showed them their new puppy which made them happy. And this morning they got up and opened their gifts and played more with their new puppy. No Christmas dinner, we just went and bought us a 20 peice chicken and fries from JJ's chicken and fish.

Later on I took them back to their mother, who happened to be at her friends house. Which was cool I guess. The irony of it all is that dude gets a meal with my family while I sit at home with my Pitbull puppy eating JJ's chicken. My God I hate holidays! I love my puppy though.